A smile is a good place to start…..
Often a smile is the last thing on our mind as we enter a room feeling under pressure to perform in some way but really it should be the first.
I’ve been thinking about all my clients and the anxiety they feel when under pressure at speaking events, meetings, interviews, networking and social events. A simple trick to get you closer to feeling more comfortable is a smile. When we smile it helps to break the ice and build rapport; we help others to relax and feel more comfortable around us and therefore a smile creates a happier environment for all.
We humans like people who are like us and have things in common, we want to relate to others, it is just human nature. Use your acuity to gauge mood, pace, body language, tone of voice and meet people at their level then introduce a smile and they will feel safe in your hands.
Smiles come in many shapes and sizes and I would not suggest we walk around grinning at everyone we communicate with. Sometimes all it takes is a kind or generous thought to project a smile that can be easily translated and received…… a smile from the inside. Rather than filling your head with negative thoughts, (thinking about all the things that could go wrong, worrying about what others are thinking about you or turning your mind to all the reasons why you would rather be anywhere else than right here in the moment), think about how you can make the best of this moment for yourself and others. Imagine the best outcome, remember we are all human and want life to be as easy as it can be and smile from head to toe. Your energy will be appealing, your posture will improve, your eyes will be ready to meet others and your voice and what you have to say will be listened to and heard loud and clear. Yes, there are some who will just refuse to shift out of their funk and they will hold onto their negativity no matter how you try to create a happy atmosphere, it’s ok, they have every right to stay that way and how you choose to let that affect your happiness is your choice! These days, I choose to let it go without judgement, choose my own mode, be there for them if they need me and when they’re ready to smile with me again.
Perhaps you walk in to a room for an interview and you breeze in with your smile, filled with potential and optimism but the the interviewer is looking mean and grumpy, (terribly old fashioned in this day and age!). You sink on the inside, you suddenly appear like a rabbit caught in headlights and slip into victim mode! It all goes wrong……… I say NO! Do not let that happen! How do you know that your positivity and excitement to be there won’t lift their mood, help them to see that finally the right person has walked into the room and that your are the right person for their team? Ask yourself how many employers want to employ a terrified, nervous wreck who feels threatened by them and if you meet a tyrant like this, ask yourself if you really want the job!
It’s not just interviews of course, there are so many situations that you can affect positively by starting out with a smile.
Try it… next time you feel under pressure when communicating with others, take a moment to breathe, think about what you want to achieve in this moment, imagine the best outcome for you and the people you are sharing your time with and start with a smile that radiates from the inside out……..I promise you it will be 100% better than if you start with a frown!
