Nerves? This is NOT the time to focus on yourself!
If you are spending any amount of time concerned with what others think about you whilst delivering your message, presentation, proposal or even your opinion, then you are wasting your time and doing yourself and others a massive disservice.
Often we feel like the imposter, we ask, ‘How did we get here? Why me? Why now?Am I good enough? What are they thinking about me? What if they reject me? The mind fills with negative mind chatter, we feel like a victim and we are left strangled and scrambling when we most need to be composed and in control.
This is NOT the time to focus on yourself! Shift your focus onto those listening and waiting to hear what you have to say. Forget all the self sabotage and mind reading and ask, ‘How can I be of best service to others in this moment?
Trust me, most people want you to do well, not only because most people are just nice, but because it makes their life easier if you just do what you are there to do, to the best of your ability. How do you know what kind of day they’re having? You could be the one that turns it around for them! If they are interviewing you, eager to hear your story, want to be trained or be sold on a theory or product by you, then focus on giving them exactly what they want in the best way you know how and nothing less. This will change everything for you and them, sometimes profoundly and in the very least it will be a more positive experience for all involved. Nerves will make way for calm and mind chatter will quiet to make room for relaxed, confident communication.
It helps to feel and be respectfully equal to whomever you are communicating with. Take your space, and own your voice. Some of us are more confident than others and find it easier to speak but the most confident speaker is not necessarily the best communicator. Wherever you are in your speaking journey the key to being heard and getting your point across is to focus on the task at hand, the message you have to deliver and how you are being of best service to others. What can you do, with what you have in order to be at your best and be understood? Do that!
When training as an actor, I was taught that it is down to the performer to help the audience feel safe in our hands so that they can get on with enjoying being in the moment with us. In order to do this the performer must be knowledgable, skilled, sensitive, receptive and rehearsed so that they can trust themselves to deliver the best version of themselves, the character and the story to the audience. I carry this learning with me and allow it to inform the way I communicate through life. When your friend, colleague, peer, interviewer, teacher, student or loved one feels and IS safe in your hands because you know what you are doing and you trust yourself to deliver, they will relax, open up and be ready to listen and communicate with you on shared, respectful terms. In these conditions you will be heard and remembered.
If you have any questions or observations about this blog please feel free to comment and get in touch, I’d love to hear from you me@audriewoodhouse.com
